My only one

We were so good together

and I don’t understand why you left.

We always had our problems,

but then again who doesn’t.

We can work through them step by step,

Ill hold your hand until your ready.

I promise.

Come back to me and you’ll never regret,

the times we’ll share together.

Take a step back to see who we used to be

two people deeply in love.

I can be your everything,

if you give me one more chance.

I promise to make up for the past

and always stay by your side.

You are like a flower to me.

When you become weak and wilt,

I will be your water to give you strength,

keeping you up whenever you fall.

The sweet fragrance of your hair,

is one of the things I miss the most.

If I had you here with me right now,

I would pull you in close.

Ill say this one last thing my love,

You’ll always be my only one.

Friends

Friends are there through the good times and bad,

when you’re feeling at your best or even sad.

You can count on them any time

and in return they will never expect a dime.

They will never judge you on your mistakes

with your boys, emotions or heartaches.

They take the time to listen when you’re upset

and wont tell you to do something that you will regret.

They always know the right thing to say

showing you the path towards the right way.

They make you that person that you truly are

hoping someday in life you’ll go somewhere far.

Your friendship to me is as strong as wood,

needing an axe to break it, but we never would.

Don’t ever leave me because I’ll always need you,

and in the end I know you need me too.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Today was just not my lucky day. Stress at work, problems with relationships and family was bringing my mood down. Earlier in the day my best friend, Karen, had called to ask me to come downtown to a new club with a bunch of my friends. Karen was this crazy girl who would party every weekend if she had the chance. I, on the other hand, focused more on my work and put my social side aside. I never felt like going out and meeting new guys because it always ended up the same way. They would ask for my number then pretend to lose it and wouldn’t call back. But Karen, being her stubborn self, forced me to meet them at 9:00. Whatever, I thought. I may as well have fun on one of the last Friday nights of the summer.

The Bar looked like any old brick building from the outside, but you could already hear the head banging music before we walked in. The inside was crowded with dancers in cages hung from the ceiling and waitresses roaming from table to table-delivering drinks. It must have been at least ten degrees warmer in the bar from people’s body heat even though the a/c must have been on full blast. As soon as we stepped into the bar, Karen rushed over to find our other friends. I looked around and observed the mood of the bar. Most people seemed to be in their twenties. Great I thought, I was definitely older than the majority of people here. Not to mention I would be that would stand out because I looked different than most of the girls in the bar. Unlike them I had no shape, tall with frizzy red hair and barely any make up on

I went over and grabbed a seat by the bar and let my feet dangle and rest from a long day of work. Next to me was guy who seemed to be a few years older than me. He was tall, bald, kind of a cute, but it was hard to tell with the bright lights from the dance floor flashing. He bent over and started to scream because it was hard to hear in the bar.

“My name’s Nick” he screamed trying to compete with the loud music.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Emma.”

“ Are you waiting for anyone?” he said then looked at me and smiled. “Actually, yeah I’m meeting up with a few friends.”

After a few minutes of conversation we both started hitting it off and telling each other embarrassing stories of childhood. It was like I had known him for a long time. I always do the same things though. Trust people way too often then end up getting my heart broken. He seemed different though.

We were having a great time until I felt someone behind me. I turned around thinking it was one of my drunk friends, but it was a face I didn’t recognize. Maybe he had the wrong person, I thought. Obviously he had because he was a tall handsome, muscular man with dark messy hair and light blue eyes, and he walked in like he owned the place. Someone who would never in years come talk to a woman who was not that blond chick with big boobs and acted like a ditz. Basically his picture would show up when you Googled “the perfect man.” So why was he trying to get my attention?

He finally he said in a deep voice,

“ Excuse me buddy, but would you mind stop flirting with my girlfriend”. The guy sitting next to me looked at me with a confused look, then stood up and apologized for not knowing I wasn’t single.

Still astonished by this random guy who I’ve never seen before, I had no idea what to say.

He finally interrupted my daze and said, “ Yeah, I was just saving you. He was definitely not your type.”

“ Oh, and you know who my type of guy is,” I replied with a snarky voice.

Honestly, I was having a great time with Nick. He was a few years older than me, but who cares. For once I was having a great time and just enjoying myself.

“ Yes I do. Me,” he replied with a grin.

Great I thought. A cocky guy who thinks he can get any girl and probably made a bet with his friends to see how many numbers he could get. Well I’m not putting up with this, I thought. I excused myself and said goodbye. Just as I was getting up to leave, I felt that gentle hand again.

“ I’m sorry, I am making a horrible first impression. I really am a nice guy and would like to get to know you”.

Get to know me? We have barely said two words to each other. I honestly have no idea what goes through guys’ head’s when they talk to girls.

“ Please sit down,” he asked, this time in a more calm voice.

“ Ok,” I agreed, without being truly convinced this would be worth my time.

“ My name is Adam, and yours would be?”

“ Emma.”

“Well Emma, would you like a drink?”

And here we go, exactly what I predicted. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. Should I give him a chance? He might have been a sincere guy.

“ Yeah sure, just one because I have to meet my friends in a bit.” I replied, hoping that he would catch on I had no interest in staying for any longer.

After we finished our first drink, I decided maybe one more with him wouldn’t kill me. We talked about our friends, job, ex girlfriends and boyfriends, family and what we like to do in our spare time. Our conversation so far had been interesting and he was good looking. This time I bought him a drink. It went back and forth with buying drinks until we both realized we had had too much to drink.

“ Um, would you like to come over tonight and maybe just chill?” he said quickly.

Just when the night was going perfect. Guys can’t just be okay with having fun and that being it. Of course he wanted more, what guy didn’t? I had been so mortified. To think he might actually like me for whom I am. I got up quickly.

“ It was nice to meet you Adam. Hopefully see you around another time.”

“ That’s it? I thought we had a connection here.”

I thought to myself. Yeah well maybe we had, but that ended as soon as he implied he wanted in my pants. I had already given him a chance and now he just blew it.

“ We might have had one, but it ended as soon as you wanted to take me home.” I could tell by this point he had no idea of what to say and neither did I.

“ Well when will I see you again” he asked with somewhat of a puppy dogface.

“ I believe in fate. If we happen to meet up again”, she answered hoping he would believe the uncertainty in her voice.

" I was hoping he wouldn’t try to follow me out when I got up to leave. I didn’t want to make this any more difficult, than it already was. I had made up my mind. He was the perfect guy, very nice and we did have a connection, but really where in life will that bring you. I was definitely interested in Adam, but I got to the point where I started to feel self conscious about how beautiful he was and how average I was. My nerves got to the best of me and I thought it would be best to just leave. As I gathered my belongings, I headed for the door to call a cab. I turned to take a last look if he had followed me. No, of course he hadn’t.

When I got home plunked down on the couch and tried to think straight. Did I just mess up something that really could have happened? Was he really that into me? Probably not.

I sat up and reached for my phone in my pocket to see if one of my friends had called me. Instead I grabbed a piece of paper. I pulled it out to see what it was and realized someone had wrote something.

Adam had wrote a note with his number on one side and a little message on the other. I thought for a few minutes and prepared myself for what I was about to see. I mean, what could be the worst. His address or something?

I flipped it over and saw that he had written a little note. It had probably been when I had gone to the washroom or something. It said…

Caroline,

I really do want to get to know you. I had fun tonight and I hope you did too. I believe in fate as well, but I want to see you again soon. Hopefully you do too.

Adam

I closed the note and I felt my heart beat getting faster and faster. Maybe he was the one. I folded up the piece of paper and slipped it in my purse, hoping someday it would come in hand again. That night spent with Adam and Nick was one of the best nights in a long time. I had realized a few things I need to clear up with myself before I start dating, and I thank them for that. Hopefully I will run into one of them sometime, but I’m letting fate decide our destiny.

My Grandmother

My grandmother taught me not to be afraid of death, but to live every moment like it’s your last and to appreciate time spent with the people you love. She was a great woman and my life has changed because of her. She lived in Newfoundland until I was ten years old, so I didn’t really have a strong relationship with her until I got older. When most of her children were living in Nova Scotia, she decided to live the rest of her life close to them. My grandmother moved to be with us in Nova Scotia eight years before she passed away in a nursing home. Family friends sent us their regrets and always asked if there was anything they could do, but nothing seemed to help the pain my family and I went through. Of course everyone gets upset when someone dies, but my grandmother was the center of our family that always held us together.

Grandmothers are those people who sneak you candy when your parents aren’t looking, give you money every time you visit and basically spoil you every chance they get. My grandmother was a very happy person who made jokes under her breath when someone got on her nerves. We shared many memories over the years that I will never forget. My favorite memories were when my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, mom and dad and I would go to Prince Edward Island for a vacation, for a week in the summer. My grandmother would spend hours at the pool watching me jump off the diving board and then giving me grades for my dives while cheering me on. As my grandmother grew older, during family gatherings, she would often close her eyes to take a nap. After that she would feel refreshed and be able to interact better with everyone around her.

The year before my grandmother passed away, my family became the closest we’ve ever been. She moved into a nursing home close to my house and I would visit her everyday. My family and I bought her fish to keep her company and always brought my dog up to see her every chance we got. I was the youngest grandchild and had more time to spend with her compared to the other grandchildren, which made our bond stronger. My grandmother was a very quiet woman who was always there listening even if she didn’t understand what you were saying. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease a few years back but that never stopped her from enjoying time spent with family.

Although I had shared many days with my grandmother when she wasn’t sick, the best days were her last. We enjoyed many hours in her room reading her diary of when she travelled with my grandfather to Spain, Ireland and England. My grandfather had died three years before leaving her to be more dependant on the rest of the family. He needed more medical attention than her, and because he had been in World War II he had to live in a Veterans care facility. Their relationship stayed strong when they were separated and my grandmother continued to be a part of his life.

Even though she couldn’t communicate verbally, her body language showed me that she was ready to listen whenever I needed someone to talk to. She would squeeze my hand every so often as if to let me know she was still listening. I don’t remember ever wanting to leave her bedside the last few days before she passed away. The day she died will be something I will always remember. She had been someone in my life that had said few words but that look on her face always made me feel like she was proud of what I had accomplished so far. After practicing each week to perfect my piano pieces, I took every opportunity to play for her. I had a small organ at home that didn’t have enough keys in order for me to play my music correctly. The large Yamaha piano that sat in the corner of the Great Room of the nursing home gave me to chance to practice playing in front of people and enjoy the beautiful sounds that were created.

She had had her eyes shut for a few days with barely any movement. Most of my family flew in that week because we knew what was about to happen. On

February 1^st around 10pm we were gathered around her bed knowing it would be the last few minutes with her. Our family from all over Canada and a few from the USA were together for the first time in years. We were geographically so far away from each other that it was rare for us to show up at the same place, let alone in the same room. She opened her eyes for the last time and looked at every single one of us, probably making sure we were together. She was awake for what seemed to be forever but really only a short time. Each one of us had tears in our eyes, but we kept them open so that we wouldn’t miss any last moments together. We thought she had awakened from her coma and some miracle had actually saved her. She shared her sweet “nanny” smile showing that she loved us, then she shut her eyes for good.

Most of us cried that whole night, some tears of agony and some of happiness, knowing she would be safe in heaven. My grandmother’s death was very difficult on our family, and I still don’t understand why God took her from us. You may say the way she looked at us was a different way to end her life because she hadn’t opened her eyes in a while, but to me I knew she did that to show my family she was so proud of us.

My grandmother showed me to not be afraid of death. As long as you’re accompanied by family and people you love, you’ve accomplished something in life. Death is always hard, but I’ve heard it many times that we always need to move on. I had no idea what that meant, and I was only 15 when she died so no one expected me to know how to handle myself. I am no longer scared of death or of life because I am trying to follow in my grandmother’s footsteps. She lived life to the fullest. Her warm and friendly smile touched the lives of many. She was so proud of her family and taught us to appreciate what we have before we’ve lost it all.

French Boy

This mysterious boy .....

Dark hair, brown eyes, tanned, hair swept to one side, pretty faced, muscular but thin, medium hair, French accent, tall, well dressed, nice smile/laugh, outgoing, smart, reserved.

Flaw: cocky- how he walked around taking to a lot of girls. Getting his flirt on..

Chin up, outgoing but self-centered.

My cousin

I compared my cousin to the sky.

My best friend

Sturdy

Funny

Outgoing

Always there- visible all around the world

Pretty-sunset (change of colors)

Ditz sometimes

Crazy

Lacks self confidence

Smart

Quiet- clouds

Friendly-light blue

Moody- always changing colors

Sky

Can see through sometimes, but other times you cant (meaning my cousin is hard to read)

Cloudy (cranky sometimes)

Clear sky (open minded for anything)

Pat's Pizza

After spending a half hour at pat's pizza, I realized that we use such simple language in our everyday routines. Here is a conversation that I overheard that day.

“Hi sweetheart, and what would you like to eat?”

“ I’m still deciding whether to choose the 9inch pepperoni pizza and the lobster roll. Yeah, I guess ill do the lobster roll. And can I get a Coke or Pepsi with that”

“Yeah, no problem darling. And for you sir?”

“Uhh, I think ill just get cheese and pepperoni pizza”

“And to drink”

“Just water, but could I get lemon in it?”

“yeah no problem, Ill be back with your drinks in a few minutes”

“ thanks” – they say in unison

“alright so here are your drinks, is there anything else you need?”

“ yeah actually were not from around here, so do you know where the closest clothing store would be?”

“yeah, theres a few places around here, but your best bet would be to go to the Bangor Mall. Lots of stores there. Oh where are you guys from. “

“ Massachusetts.”

“ its so beautiful there! Hope you guys have a nice stay here in Orono and your food. Let me know if you need anything”

“ Its delicious, thank you!”

Just another day..

Today was just not my lucky day. Stress at work, problems with relationships and family was bringing my mood down also did not help the matters. I was about to sit down on my big comfy chair, eating junk food and watching my romantic comedies when I heard a knock at the door. Before I even looked out the peephole to see who it was, I knew my best friend Karen would be anxiously waiting to come in. After a long chat with her about how my day was going, she practically forced me out of my apartment to come with her to this new bar downtown. I was neither in the mood nor ready to deal with drunken guys hitting on me or asking me to dance. When we arrived she rushed over to our other friends who were already dancing on the dance floor. I told her that I would get a round of drinks for all of them when they were ready for a break. I went over and grabbed a seat by the bar and let my feet dangle and rest from a long day of work. Next to me was this older guy who asked to buy me a drink and within seconds tried to hit on me. I looked over to see if one of my friends could come rescue me, but of course they were having a great time dancing. I felt a hand gracefully clench my lower back. Most people would be terrified and scream, but these manly hands were different. I had not known his name but already felt safer then I had with the guy sitting next to me. I hadn’t said a word either. This mystery man had explained to the drunken guy that I was with him and to scramble and to stop hitting on his girlfriend. Seconds later he took a seat next to me. The only words that could come out of my mouth were “ thank you”. He hadn’t even done anything to save my life, but it was if he had read my mind, almost like a guardian angel. Not to mention he was handsome.

“ You really didn’t need to do that, I’m sure I could have handled it on my own”

“ Really, I saw that look on your face that made me think you needed to be saved”

“ Yes, okay, you may be right. I didn’t catch your name”

“ Adam”

“ Well thank you Adam. You just made my day a whole lot better”

“ Yeah, a lot of girls tell me that”

“ Oh I guess I am one of those lucky girls. My name is Caroline by the way”

“ Nice to meet you. Would you like a drink?”

Usually I would have stopped, thought about what might happen in a few minutes time, but the words almost just fell out my mouth.

“ I would love to dance”

“ Oh wow, you’re a girl who moves quick”

Human Nature

Human Nature

We as a society have trouble distinguishing our characteristics that we are born with from ones that we learn when we get older. I watched people’s motions and habitudes when they were interacting with other. The way we communicate is not only by our words but also with actions and emotions. Just like nature we share many qualities that shows us who we are. Nature is known for its peace, tranquility, and a sort of relaxing and calm quality. As humans, we also have a side to us that when we meet nature, we can clear our head. Nature has strong instincts just like humans as well. Protection, jealousy, envy are only a few examples of those.

The river

I hear….

I hear the water rush into the rocks and it makes a gulping sound

I heard the motors of vehicles fly over the bridge

I hear the wind flow through the grass

foot steps crushing the tiny shells where a living creature used to be

A plane, thousands of meters off the ground but still close enough the hear it pass by

I see…

a beaver damn, to me a clutter of wood, to them somewhere they call home

I see the ripples in the water racing down the river just like in a race

I see the clouds, hiding behind the trees somewhat scared to come out

I see the light shinning on the rocks giving it a a gold sparkling look

I see a house, hidden a mile away, protected by trees almost as if it is being sheltered from the real world

I see longs tall trees together with barely any separation closing an gap of view through them

I see the still rocks being crashed upon by the brisk water

I see the flowers, surrounded by grass but still pretty enough to be seen

I smell…

I smell the wind being blown into my face making me take big breath

I smell the clam shells, old, rough, broken awaiting to be admired

I smell fresh air, the same air as everyone around me breathes

I feel….

I feel my hair blows back from around my face

I feel relaxed, calm and refreshed

I feel the bumpy rock, which i used for a cushion

I feel alone, even though so many living organisms surround me

I see the turtle that pops his head up grasp a breath of air

His dark, deep eyes starring into mine

Him swimming away, his back to me as if he was implying that it was his territory

Then he drifted back to where he came from